Esme's crying

Days like these. All bleedin' morning. On off, on off. We came back from Wales late last night so she didn't get to bed early, in fact, she went about 11.30pm, as was up at around 7.00am. And she's got a cold, we think.

Still, it's hard to keep that in mind the way she acts, and I guess we make things worse, we just can't do right for doing wrong for her.

Oh well, they've gone off to get birthday stuff, so hopefully the medicine will kick in and she'll enjoy herself.

Bradley, my little boy

Awww. He's so cute. Especially when he pulls his, 'I'm going to cry now' face. Just before he starts bawling... Need to get some pix of that.

More war stuff

The San Francisco Examiner: "People need to know it's normal to experience shock, disbelief, disorganization and fear. After we get over our shock, we'll experience mood swings, crying, jumpiness, irritability, fatigue, trouble concentrating, trouble sleeping."

I know what they mean. I couldn't get to sleep last night. And I'm finding it difficult to concentrate on my work.

Esme's swing

Got it up, just an hour it said in the instructions, they were right. Just as the light was fading. Adding balloons in the dark. Think I'll go to Tescos (24 hour) and get some more, need films for the 35mm, a card from Bradley...

Bradley's walking practices

Boy, was he tired, but determined. I walked him from kitchen to living room, about 25 feet each way. A pause in the kitchen to screech at the kitten, then up for some more, and if he sits down, by sheer exhaustion and you don't pick him back up again, off on his travels, does he get pissed off. Stop him at the settee, screams "nareweer."

Taught him the light switch gag, on his way to the cot, up the stairs, in the bathroom, every switch. He cottoned on to the vanity light above the mirror in the bathroom, pulling the light's little cord, from pitch black to bright light in your face, but in two faces. That'll take a bit of getting used to. Figured I could just put him down in the cot, give him his bottle in his mouth, tussle his hair, say, "see you in the morning, lad," and that would be it, as I closed the door.

Must try something like this with Esme.

War

That's right war. In the middle of birthday celebrations in the countryside. A few Js, wine, some nuts. I'm keeping up with events, seeing the "dead or alive," 6% one day drop in capitalist markets, the propaganda from institutions, the new volunteer soldiers.

I worry about my kids, myself, us as a family. Should we make a break and move to Wales or maybe that should be New South Wales.

They say it'll be a long campaign, a crusade. I think, a lot will depend on who is in the first few raids. If it's Saudi, bad, China, Russia, good. Pakistan sounds like a no-no anyway, which is bad.

Bradley's birthday

Soon, 31st October. Six weeks on Wednesday

Birmingham should be pretty safe from fundamentalists. It's a large melting pot. But, as we've seen pots can boil over (Bradford, NF, shit).

Governments' TV

I think it's comiing, the shut down. Not, next week, maybe in Bradley's and Esme's golden years. I fear a dark ages. I'm a child of the apocalypse movies, particularly the Australian and Water World.

Water World: "There might not be enough water or food, but the bad guys always have an endless supply of gasoline for their vehicles."

The fucking, American religious right, are as bad as bin Laden. But they've got nuclear weapons. Stick in some hairy arsed Jewish instititions, and there's some bad arsed muther fuckers out there. Both sides of the fence, as there must be in war.

What was that about the US and Israel walking out of the race conference in South Africa?

BBC: US accused over summit walkout: "a walkout by the US and Israel over moves to brand Israel as racist. "

Is Middle East Peace Possible?: "Reasons for Pessimism

People have long memories. The images of the Israeli soldier and the Palestinian boy being killed will be hard to wash from anyone's memory.

Extremists can always be spoilers. While the huge mainstream majority on both sides may want peace, the extremists only need a well-placed bomb, an assassin's bullet, or a provocative action to throw everything into chaos. Extremists thrive on chaos.

Ariel Sharon might be in the Israeli government. Ehud Barak may need Sharon to hold on to power, but he is a lightning rod for the Palestinians. The situation cries out for people who can calm the waters, not stir them up even more.

Arafat may have lost control. If Yasser Arafat no longer has power over or credibility with the Palestinian people the peace process will be stalled for a long time. Even if the Israelis ever want to come to the peace table again, who will have the authority to sit on the other side as the representative of the Palestinian people?

So....are you an optimist or a pessimist?"

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