My diary, for friends and myself, if you don't know me -- go

Why? Why? Why?

I know it's just a tactic to draw more conversation, I know it. But can I resist? Nope. Esme, who's a big girl now, (three years and several weeks) continually asks why. Tells me to be quiet, "I'm talking to my Mummy!!!" Rolls her eyes and blows raspberries. Tells me something is a good idea, and that something was funny.

What happened? A few weeks ago, she was a child, now she acts like a grown up.

She knows how to get things off Bradley, without raising my ire. She first distracted Bradley with something else, a toy say, then quickly grabs the object of desire, thus, Bradley is left holding and playing with the toy, and she has the prize.

Memories?

Esme's eye is straight now, it looks fine, she doesn't rub it nearly as much, probably just as much as the other when she's tired.

But she found a picture of herself from last April, in it, she is squinting into the sun and hher left eye is noticably squint.

She picked it up yesterday and wanted to know about her eye. I wasn't sure what she meant. I told her that it was fixed now, she went to hospital, and it was fixed. But this wasn't enough. I could see her looking at the photo, she sat on the settee and was quiet for a long time. I left it at that.

But today, she brought the photo out to the kitchen. "Daddy, talk, me." Pointing to the photo, stupidly I started talking about the background -- it was at the fair, so I talked about the train ride...

"No, talk eye!!!" She was angry.

I told her that it was looking the wrong way, that we took her to the hospital to fix it, and it was indeed now fixed, "was it better now?" "No." This was puzzling, and still is.

I told her that I too had my ears fixed, because they stuck out when I was little and they were better now.

This seemed to calm her.

I asked her if she remembered going to the hospital, she said she could.

I'll ask her tomorrow about it again, I hope that there are no deeply buried scares there.

Bradley's "Dadda"

That's me!

I love the way he kisses too. Once he starts he wants to do everybody within reach.

Today, at the big park, I put him on the toy train, it's large enough for me to get inside, and two carriages long. In the front there's a boxed in area about 2' x 3' with a crawl in hole. He was inside looking all around, smiling and giggling, when a little girl tried to crawl through, Bradley kept looking down, to see her tray and get in, as she nears, he giggled, and made kissing noises -- the girl backed away. I don't know if it was the noises, or...

And Esme tries the same thing, every child she meets, she delares to me, "she's my friend."

Esme's woken up

First time she was half way down the stairs, I pointed and laughed, and she smiled and turned around, I followed. She was in bed and wanted me to lie down with her, which I did. 10 minutes later, I though Steve M. Hooker was asleep, and nearly down the stairs when she kicked off, I went back, 10 minutes later, nearly out of the bedroom...

"Me want dinner, me want medicine, me want my mummy."

She starts sobbing, I tell her off, then cuddle her. It seems to work. No it doesn't.

I ask he why she want medicine, where does it heart, she say her head and points above her right eye (her wall eye is her left eye) and moves it down to her ear.

This always troubles me. I don't know if she's making it up.

I get her some Cough medicine -- we're out of Calpol. Figure it'll be a panacea.

"Me want dinner," and starts sobbing, she's worried about something. I ask what, she says fireworks. She seems genuinely frightened.

I ask if she wants to lie down downstairs on the settee.

"Daddy! Me happy now." As she settles under the quilt watching Bananas in Pyjamas.

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