My diary, for friends and myself, if you don't know me -- go

Phhhhew.... Hard days. Trapped Esme's fingers in the car door. Amanda was shouting "open the door" I didn't think she meant me, all I saw was Esme's fingers through my door, no hand! Freaked. Opened door, that's when I noticed Esme doing the silent scream... She's OK now we think. But been in a bad mood with me all day.

Bradley had his first day at school on Thursday. I dropped him off only to hear him start bawling as soon as I tuned my back. He's been having fun there though we think. !He has a report card that tells us what he's done fopr the day, 2how many nappies, whe`n1 he`'s slept... He's here now hitting the keys. No Bradley, I don't6 want a chewy sweet. Sticky.

Been to Walsall Art Gallery today. Dropped Amanda off to some hair, into MacDonalds. Off to the place other people put painting on the wall. Bradley though it great stamping from room to room shouting "wack, wack." Esme did a shit in her nappy, drew a picture, took it with her, wouldn't leave it with the other children's paintings... Think there was a competition?

Amanda's gone out again and I suffer two eposodes to Tweenies while Esme paints, and Bradley sits in his high chair next to Esme, eating Quavers. I only have to jump up now and then. Let's see how long it goes one. 5:01:49 pm

I need to change both their nappies. They've both shit. Esme since the museum. Not looking forward to it. Can smell it from here. I could smell it in the museum. Lots of ex lushious middle aged ladies, who were probly

need to get more paper

5:04:03 pm

Peeled apple for Bradley, Esme, "me got muucky handsss."

who were probably maiden aunts. Smelling that shit pleased me. I bet they were jealous behind their disgust. Babies shouting "wack, wack," shitty kids... Something to talk about over dinner that night.

5:10:44 pm

Wash hands, need to take that pretty top off... Now!

5:11:37 pm

Bradley's nice and quiet. He loves the TV. I love it that he loves the TV Should I feel quilty? Nope. Esme learnt so much from the goggle box. Pat think's he's a really happy man. If only he knew the truth! Esme's still washing her hands. "Numb, knumb." As he stuffs Quavers in.

"Dadde, is wet! Is wet!" "No matter, we'll wash it. Nice and clean now?" "Not et, ittle bit ere," points to her arm and goes back to washing her hands in the sink. She's standing on the chair, bending right over into the sink.

5:15:45 pm

Pat was on his way again. He saw Sam's mobile shop parked by the side of the road, Hi Sam, this fog gets into the back of your throat, you got any cough sweets?

"There, can you take my top off!" "Yep in a minute."" "Take my top off". "Take my top off. " "Top off!!!!!!!"

"There." "You gonna pinch my skin again..." "Nope," pulls top off. There, now go and get messy." "GET ESSY!" "Me gonna get essy!"

"That's enough yellow Esme, save some for tomorrow... save some for tomorrow." More I say "Esme save some the maore I think she'll do it. I keep saying, she keeps doing. I raise my voice a little, I swear a little, but say it firmer...

Shouted too much, Waaaaaaaaaa... I DIDN'T shout. I didn't! I could see it coming so I knew... Damn. What do you do?

Waaaaaaa!

Me want my Mummy.

Eeeee, ahhhhah

Me want my Mummy.

5:23:02 pm

So I let her go for a few seconds... Then I expain I didn'tr want to upset here, please don't cry, I don't want you to cry...

Get scissors, to cut up cards, get cards...

5:25:40 pm

"Bradley's smacking me..." I was just thinking that he was quiet...

"Bradley's smacking me..."

'Look Dadde, at for you... Hey, Bradley, drawed on that, me don't need those.' "Mum, aggeee d uuuuHu ahhh."

"Bradley's smacking me..."

"No he's not."

"Nung-gah, nah, yum-ya, ga gaa." Cough, cough. "Mamma, a."

I think he's getting bored.

"News not not on. Dadde!, Dadde, news not on."

5:30:13 pm

New programme, with a presenter (could have been a news presenter, except for the funny hat, and puppets. Bradley waves him back hello.

Everythings been quiet, except for the odd noise. 5:38:59 pm

"Me want juisss. In a bottle." "Can't have bottle, have bottle with straw." "Yesss."

So I do that, but Bradley want the blue bottle with the straw and Esme wants the babies bottle. Cunning bit of logic. I swap. This surprises both. But keeps them quiet once more.

"Can you clean it up with a towel?" Leave him splash a little?" "It's getting all on my cloths [sic]." 5:45:40 pm

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